Why the Most Devoted Mothers Are Most at Risk of Losing Themselves
By Alina M. Tofan · From the Inside Series The mother who manages everything is the last person anyone worries about. She is capable. She is present. She is, by every visible measure, fine. The household runs. The children are loved. The marriage is intact. From the outside, there is nothing to flag. And so nobody does. But inside the woman who is managing everything — inside the competence and the devotion and the daily extraordinary effort of holding a family together — something quieter is sometimes happening. Something that has no external signal and no obvious moment of crisis. A gradual, loving, entirely unintentional disappearance of the self. Losing yourself in motherhood does not happen to the mothers who are struggling. It happens most reliably to the ones who are succeeding. The Particular Irony of Devoted Motherhood The devoted mother gives completely. This is her gift and, without her awareness of it, her risk. When you pour yourself into a m...